weed

Hi there. I know my blog is a bit depressing. to tell you the truth I remain myself anonymous because I will use this blog to express my feelings toward my addiction to drugs. one and only weed. I have 2 blogs. No one knows about the existing of this blog.

Reason for the selected title. Im different before I became stoner. cheerful and smart. Problem-free spirit is always attached to me. My ex-boyfriend is a stoner even before we met. I accepted the way he is without getting influenced on taking it. but after 2 1/2 years together, I failed to maintain my perception over weed. Im ecstasy user too, but very random. Back then, I dont see weed gives permanent damage physically and mentally. at one point I consumed weed daily.
During the early period of the drug abusing seems amazing to me. yes, my characteristic changed. more relax in deciding things. I talk less and accepting anti-social behaviour to grow in me. unconciously it pulled my confidence level to crash bottom. I was in the dark even before I knew it.

Now I feel alone eventhough I have my bf, friends and family around. I feel helpless although Im trying. I feel every sorrows were kept in me and when I talk I dont know whats the root of Im feeling like this. I want to cry but for what reason.

The after effect is painful.

Getting stoned is one of the way for me to be ignorant on my surroundings.