jangan benci cinta

I dont know whats the time due to my laptop has not been switched on for nearly a month. Im too lazy to plug the wires and stuff. but I know its quite late n should be sleeping by now. Im in a relationship crisis. something that either I'll be self-fish and still want him because I really love him means keep hurting him or let him go. he's hurt. I should let him go. I know its not easy because I love him too much already. he's the nicest guy Ive been with. a bit ego but I like him :(
when we do sex, I just feel different. I can feel the love he let flows in me. but everything is just too much for both of us to handle. we put our relationship to the end last night. I didnt cry this time. I dont know why. maybe I keep telling myself be a grown up. take it like grown ups. this has to go means it got to go. or both gonna be more hurt. we both are so rebellious. sometimes when it feels so good we ignored the consequences. we're not rational thinkers. we both are too the same. does it bring good? yes in our own world but not in reality. should we care for reality? what people think about us rather than what we think about ourselves? I love effi. now Im crying